Racing to the South Pole!

Emboldened by the Russian’s bid to gain sole access to vast quantities of unexploited oil deposits by planting their flag underneath the ice of the North Pole, confident New Zealander scientists and military officials have begun a voyage to Antarctica, in a quest to plant the Kiwi flag on the seabed beneath the South Pole.

“The North Pole is for sissies and Cossacks,” sneered Dr. Clive Ennerton, chief scientist in charge of the project. “Those Russian tog-wearers can naff off!”

When it was pointed out that Antarctica is in fact a continent, and not a vast floating ice floe, and hence has no sea floor on which to plant a flag, Dr. Ennerton became momentarily nonplussed. “What?”