House Votes To Build 350 Miles Of New Fences - Around Nation's Ballparks

Spurred by citizen outrage, House representatives voted unanimously today to increase the height of the fences around baseball fields in all major league ballparks.

"This isn't about keeping immigrants out," said Jose Serrano (D), 16th District, NY. "It's about keeping that bastard Barry Bonds from tying Babe Ruth's home run total.

"Hey Bonds, break this record," said Serrano, gesturing at his pant leg.