Congressional Democrats Lambast Kim Jong II For Nuke Test

Dismayed and outraged that North Korean leader Kim Jong II’s purported test of a nuclear weapon has diverted national attention away from the Mark Foley male page scandal, leading Democrats in the House and Senate responded with cryptic rhetoric. “We believe the timing of this incident was, shall we say, not arbitrary,” said Senator Hillary Clinton. “Kim Jong, presumably, reads the papers like everyone else. He knew the Republicans have been reeling from the Foley debacle. And then all of a sudden there’s this weapons test. Coincidence? I think not.”

Senator John Kerry went further. “I’ve been informed by reliable sources that Ambassador John Bolton has been secretly sending Instant Messages to Kim Jong II. I can’t at this time reveal the exact transcripts, but the gist is that Bolton urged Jong to get on with his nuke test prior to the November elections. And that Jong’s hair style gave him a boner.”