My First Cell Phone - The Horror... The Horror

Having just purchased my first personal cell phone, my intent here is to record observations of any changes in my intellectual capacity or emotional demeanor. I fear that I may now join the ranks of the rude, insensitive phone-toting hoi polloi, and may yet descend into uncharted depths of madness, despair, and rampant loquacity. I leave this record so that those who may wish to follow in my footsteps harken to take necessary precautions and be mindful of the treacherous pitfalls of this frightening journey.